Author: Kristie

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Life changed …. 5/24/2015

I have been writing this post up in my head for almost a year.  I spoke at her funeral but this serves as a tribute to Tara and how we try to pay tribute to her and her short life here every single day.  Life is truly a journey and a roller coaster and we try to take the bad with the good.  There are events, though, that change us … that change our direction and our course.  On 5/24/15, this happened to pretty much every person who ever had the privilege of getting to know Tara Marie.

Tara as a cute little girl...Love this one.
Tara as a cute little girl…Love this one.

Tara and I met in 1985, became close friends by 1990 – she introduced me to people as the ‘girl who wanted to beat me up when she first met me’.  I admit, I had a bit of a temper when her and I met.  However, she also had a bit of a mouth.  🙂  Anyway, during those almost 30 years, we shared EVERYTHING — she was more of a sister to me than any person I have ever known.

This is just my story… Please take a minute to share yours today — even if its with whomever is sitting next to you right now — and how you have paid tribute to Tara over the last year….

I won’t go back too far but in the summer of 2013, my life changed its course when I left my chosen career of 15 years.  It was the best decision I ever made, as I got to be a part of my daughter’s life, help strengthen family bonds and be a ‘happier me’.  In the two years that followed, I had moved into a career in real estate.  Working has always been one of those things to give me my ‘sense of purpose’ and income was one of my major contributions to my family.  In 2014, my mom had a pretty serious accident that almost left her paralyzed and my new career took a bit of a back seat.  I am forever thankful to the awesome partners and coworkers I had for their complete understanding through everything.  In early 2015, we had secured a place for my mom – she was thankfully able to be independent, but she is also close enough to call on us if she needs anything.  Things started to ‘settle’.

On May 18, 2015, Tara and I were planning summer time.  After having moved to Vegas, we looked forward to when she got to spend some time in Arizona.  She had stayed home that day from school as when she got sick, the first thing to go was her voice.  She spent the day planning the whole summer, I think.  I talked to her that evening for a little bit — but we switched to text and messenger so that she could more easily communicate.  We were going to do the Wild Life Park, the Zoo, the Science Center, Make Meaning — all activities with our kids, who are only 4 months apart.  Of course, we also planned a girls night of painting and her 40th birthday party, to coincide with my husband, Chris’, birthday.  I was tired thinking of all that summer had in store, excited too though.  I didn’t know that night would actually be the last time we spoke.

We started our yearly camping trip up into the rim area on Thursday the 21st, a real estate deal forced me to drive back home the next day.  The whole way home, my stomach was in knots and I had that “feeling” that no one likes to get.  I was relieved to find my mom and the dogs doing okay when I got home as my imagination created stories from that ‘feeling’.  I got my work done and drove back north.  I remember driving down the dirt road to camp listening to “Flyin Down a Back Road”.  Saturday the rain started.  Early Sunday morning, I was woken by thunder and more rain — we often got rain camping on that weekend and it is always a welcome relief to the heat of the Valley.  We planned a picnic at Potato Lake Sunday and Chris was off for his 4-wheelin excursion with his buddies.  Potato lake is one of my favorite spots to visit.  Just a small body of water with pine trees all around — beautiful and quiet.  Dad had decided to stay at camp — sometimes nice to sit back in a quiet camp and relax….

We had just eaten and were hanging out by the water — I saw Chris and my dad walking up.  It wasn’t too long before I noticed that things were not well.  My first thought was that there was an accident while wheeling.  Chris looked to be physically okay… and then it all happened so quickly.  They yelled for me to come over and Chris told me Tara was gone …. gone?  Tara who?  not my sister, Tara? gone?

I sat down or fell down.  And right then, life changed.

Love you Tara
Love you Tara

Everyone who knows Tara has their own version of this story.

We packed up and headed for Vegas.  We hung out with family, we met tons of new friends and coworkers that spent each day with Tara.  We reconnected with old friends …we laughed and oh did we cry.  In the next two weeks, we had two memorial services and a big life celebration for Tara.  In writing the words I spoke at her funeral, one big theme kept ringing in my head “NO REGRET”.  She LIVED.  She DID.  She took every challenge and prospered. ‘From the day we met, to the night she left … we loved her with NO REGRET…’

On June 19, we decided to take our yearly San Diego trip.  I was apprehensive about being in the trailer but we all agreed we needed a getaway with family.  It was an amazing trip, but early on June 29, my dad knocked on the door of the trailer with news that my grandpa was in critical condition.  We immediately packed up and tried with everything we had to get to him.  We made it to Yuma.  10 days earlier, Grandpa was doing better than ever.  Things happen so fast and in those instances, life changes.

Grandpa's tribute on the Smoke 'N Grind Trailer
Grandpa’s tribute on the Smoke ‘N Grind Trailer

Chris, not just my husband, but my ROCK — he starts looking for some meaning while I was questioning life itself.  To him, this meant it was time to follow a dream — life is short — have to focus on the things that are important vs the daily grind.  The daily grind is how life gets away.  By October, he was taking his dream to Bullhead City for our first BBQ Competition.

In Loving Memory of Tara Dubrava-Underwood - First BBQ Competition
In Loving Memory of Tara Dubrava-Underwood – First BBQ Competition

Over the last year, my soul searching is what lead me do some of the things I do now.  My journey through anxiety, depression, grief … the physical things like the headaches, high blood pressure, tension … I have tried SO MANY things over the years.  I have had some pretty awesome successes.  My meaning comes when I help someone.  Tara and I had planned on starting a 24 day challenge that summer.  She had seen my success with Advocare’s line of products and she knew if she was in AZ and we were doing it together, it would be fun, rewarding, and likely more successful for both of us!  She had already shared with me her journey with essential oils.  I am really just continuing down the path her and I had started.  Many days, I know she walks right with me.  I can only hope that as I work on my posts and work through this journey and share with people that I can help even a handful of people each year.  If they share their journey, the results could be amazing … and its all dedicated to Tara and her short life and impact here.  It’s my dream and my purpose.

Chris has taken his dream of owning a restaurant and in the last 300 days, we have started making that dream a reality.  Today, he sent me pictures of the trailer branded with Smoke N Grind in big bright white letters.  I cried.  Another journey that we started in dedication to Tara’s life.  We DID … instead of talking about doing.  NO REGRET.

Smoke 'N Grind Trailer
Smoke ‘N Grind Trailer

Even still, it’s easy to start to fall into the ‘grind’.  It’s comfortable.  Working toward a dream is not usually ‘comfortable’. It’s scary and risky and scary some more.  There is not ONE SINGLE DAY that I don’t think about something she said to me, something we did together, something that reminds me.  Sometimes it’s easy to want to just stop, hide in bed.  My daughter was the one some days who was the reason I got up – even if it was just to get her ready to go to school.  Routine … but not letting that routine make you forget about the real importance of why we get up each morning, why we take each breath.

On March 3, we found out that we are going to be blessed with another little one in our lives.  IMHO, another message from Tara to stop and remember what is important.  We have been a bit under the doctor’s microscope as we complete the tests to make sure everything looks good and so far, everything is GREAT.  Our daughter is due the first week of November – Tara’s twins were due the first week of November – it gives me chills when I think of it.  My ‘sense of purpose’ is ever-changing.  And, as the hammer keeps hitting me … it reminds me that the work and the income is not my true ‘sense of purpose’.

Our little new addition...
Our little new addition…

My family and sharing my experiences with YOU is my purpose.

Every day, no matter how sad I am, I strive to find meaning.  I cannot explain the path that God has us on or the reasons – its not for me to understand the reason, but to find the message and the meaning and my next path on this road.  Last Friday, a high school friend posted just this “John 13:7”  It gave me chills too.  Sometimes, the perfect message comes along at the perfect time.

So, as a tribute to Tara and to everyone who loved her and misses her, I just want to say, please go find your dream.  LIVE your life with NO REGRET.  Find your MEANING.

Life is not about the breaths we take, but about the moments that take our breath away…

Dedicated to Tara Marie 
June 25, 1975 – May 24, 2015

And in loving memory of my Grandpa, Donald D Shanks
January 24, 1920 – June 29, 2015

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Spaghetti Pie

Healthy spin on traditional spaghetti pie - and gluten free!
Healthy spin on traditional spaghetti pie – and gluten free!

One of Tara’s favorite recipes … I have made it healthy and I think we love it even more in this house.  Traditional spaghetti pie is exactly as it sounds, you make a crust using spaghetti noodles, layer with ricotta/cream cheese mixture, meat sauce, and cheese and bake it.  Here is how we make it healthy (and gluten-free btw)….

What you need:

1 Spaghetti Squash, split in half.  I brush with a little olive oil and fresh ground pepper, place face down on a cookie sheet and bake for about an hour at 350.  You can stick a fork in the outside and if it is tender, its done.  Let it cool some.  I will throw it in on a Saturday around lunch time while I am doing other things, take it out in an hour or so and let it cool.

1 egg

1/3 cup Parmesan

Once the spaghetti squash is cooled a bit, use a spoon to scrape out the flesh.  It will look like spaghetti (so much tastier IMHO).  I usually take about half the squash mix it with the beaten egg and Parmesan, 1/2 tsp garlic salt, and fresh ground pepper.  Form a crust in a 8-9 in square baking dish or pie pan.  Push the sides up a little so that it looks like a pie crust.  Use as much of the squash as you need to make the desired “crust”.

Cottage Cheese (about 8 0z), a clove of garlic, and Italian seasoning next.  Mix with a hand blender if you like a smooth texture.  Taste Taste Taste and season to your liking.  Place spoonfuls on your crust and then use  a spatula to gently spread the layer into your crust.

Marina or Meat Sauce.  Chris loves meat sauce.  All dinners must have protein.  I will use ground chicken or lean ground beef or a mixture of the two. 1 pound of meat, 1/2 sweet onion, 1 clove garlic, 1 tbs Italian seasoning, 1 tsp garlic salt, 1/2 tsp pepper, and red pepper flakes to your spice preference. Brown the meat with the spices and add in tomato sauce or your favorite marinara sauce.

Spoon your sauce on top of the cottage cheese mixture.  Cook for about 20 minutes in a 350 degree oven.  Add mozzarella and cook another 15 minutes at around 400 or until the mozzarella is just a bit golden.

We keep extra Parmesan and red pepper flakes on hand for serving.  Serve with a spinach salad.  Great healthy, yet tasty dinner!

Any extra sauce gets frozen.  Any extra spaghetti squash gets frozen.  And the next time I make it, its super easy to thaw, layer and bake!

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Deficiencies causing migraines

MAGNESIUM:  A magnesium deficiency is a huge trigger for migraines.

B-2 (Riboflavin):  Increasing your dosage of Riboflavin has also been shown to help prevent migraines.

Iodine:  I recently found out that I had an iodine deficiency – isn’t super common like the other two, but can cause migraines, headaches, and prevent the ability to flush out toxins.  I started adding iodine drops to my morning supplements.  My iodine has increased by about three times.

Talk to your doctor and find one open to testing for these things (and a hormone panel for women) during your annual blood work.  This can go a long way to helping figure out your triggers and taking steps to reduce quantity and severity of migraines!

I took Migrelief-M for a long time, which is one of the few supplements that combines both and Feverfew.  I would recommend it for those who don’t have sensitivity to taking tablet form supplements.

MigreLief+M

Now I take ItWorks! Greens, which have, in my case helped more and with other issues.

http://noregret.myitworks.com/shop/#57

A good friend of mine recently started taking Dolovent — This is a capsule form and also contains several of the ‘migraine’ fighting natural based supplements.

http://dolovent.com/

Pick one and try it out for a few months.  I like to compare, especially when it comes to headaches and migraines, keep my headache log and stick with what helps me the most!  Also, check the ingredients and make sure to stop other supplements if ingredients overlap!

Have a great weekend!

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Essential Oil Headache Recipe 1

All this talk about Essential Oil recipes, I want to add a few essential oil recipes I use for headaches / migraines.

A couple things to note:
1. The first time you try an essential oil, you will have a stronger reaction.  The first time I tried Lavender, it actually gave me a bit of a headache and felt VERY WARM on the back of my neck.  This no longer happens.  I always tell people to try the oil for 10 days before making a decision.
2. Skin sensitivity – some people, especially children, will have skin sensitivity to non-diluted oils.  I use fractionated coconut oil in my daughter’s roller bottles.  You can always start by diluting and then adding extra drops of EO to your mixture if you feel you want it stronger.
3. Smell sensitivity – When I have a migraine, this is huge for me.  Open the bottle and smell.  Then add a drop to a cotton ball and inhale deeply.  This way you will know if the oil just will not work with the current symptoms.

Early Signs of Migraine:

  1. Put a couple drops of Frankincense at the roof of your mouth.  This can be diluted in olive oil, sweet almond oil, or coconut oil if it is too strong.
  2. Rub a couple drops of Peppermint Oil on the back of your neck.
  3. Rub a couple drops of Frankincense on your temples.

I have no scent reactions to these three oils so I can use these no matter what stage of migraine I am in.

4.  Lavender – I cannot to lavender once the smell sensitivity of a migraine kicks in.  If it is early, I will place a couple drops of lavender on the back of my neck or on my chest.

Roller Ball:

10 Drops Peppermint
6 Drops Lavender
6 Drops Frankincense (Eucalyptus is a potential substitution)
Fill remaining with fractionated coconut oil and keep in your purse / pocket to rub on temples and neck at onset of headache.

Past Tense:

This is a specific roller ball sold by DoTerra but I carry it with me ALL THE TIME and use for tension and headaches.  It’s awesome.

** Recipes and results are my experiences.  Not meant to cure any current disease or symptom. **

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Headaches! Migraines! Headaches!

The first really bad headache I remember was in the fourth grade.  It woke me up from my sleep.  I have seen countless doctors and countless tests.  Doctors have done pain injections, put me on beta blockers, put me on low doses of anti-seizure medicine… you name it I have tried it.  The fact is if I am going to get a headache, there seems to be no stopping it.

My allergist says that my blood tests were the ‘cleanest he had ever seen’.  OK … not allergic to anything.  Obviously, dust and pet hair and all that can bother any of us, but it doesn’t necessarily mean we are allergic.

My primary care doctor says I have problems with tension but he began to think that some of the tension headaches were actually triggered by that first headache and causing clusters.

In 2010, I found out I was pregnant.  Early on, I had some headaches, but I felt better than I ever had from a migraine perspective.  After I had my daughter, the doctor put me on birth control again and about 6 weeks following, the headaches returned 10-fold.  I had a headache or a migraine 2.5 weeks out of the month.  It was debilitating.  I inadvertently found a doctor close to my home was open to trying some more natural treatments.  I was tired of being on drug after drug that caused different side effects.  When I got there, I told her some of my issues and that if she could make my body think it was pregnant all the time, my headaches may improve.  She LISTENED, did some hormone testing and found that my progesterone levels were low and testosterone levels were low for my age, and my estrogen levels were high.  Birth control was adding more estrogen on top of this — so, in affect, it was making the headaches even worse.  She prescribed low doses of progesterone, a specific dosage based on the time in my cycle, no more hormone based birth control, and a headache log.  Thankfully, she isn’t an extremist either, so she kept my current prescription options as backup.

After the first month of hormone treatment, my headaches had diminished by about 80%.  My headache log mostly showed activity around the week prior to my menstrual cycle.  On the hormone treatment, I would have some cluster migraines around 2-5 days a month.  VICTORY!

Since then, I have experimented with Essential Oils, ItWorks! GREENS, and living an overall healthy lifestyle.  As I have mentioned in other posts, I have reduced the severity and frequency even further by keeping up with these things.  I have felt better than I have ever felt, even as a kid.

All treatments included, I went from 7 daily medications to 2 – one of these being Progesterone. My average Triptan use has lowered by more than half.  It’s a process for sure but I am excited to have gotten here.  I hope to help others get to their process sooner.  I always try natural options first.

Essential Oil Recipes and of course my ItWorks! GREENS are a huge part of this plan.

Stretching, Foam Rollers, Hot Tub usage, Inversion Table, Ergonomic Office setup, and Exercise are a huge part of the plan for the tension.

None of these regiments keeps me from leading a very busy and packed day.  From distributing three different products to real estate to contracting to being a mom, I need all the energy I can get.  And as little headaches as possible!

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Essential Oils

Starting with essential oils as it helped start my new adventure –

When Tara passed away and the twins and her husband were with us for the summer, I was beside myself.  I mean, I have a four year old who thought “Mommies don’t cry”.  I was with family and friends at Potato Lake having a little picnic when I saw my husband and dad walking up with expressions you never want to see.  I knew something was wrong.  I never expected THAT was wrong.  I turned to my doctor for help with sleeping and anxiety so that I could put on a strong face for her husband and beautiful twins.  And for my daughter — who had so many questions about Heaven and where people go when the die and why it wasn’t just older people who ‘left us.’  Xanax had helped me in the past with insomnia, so it seemed natural to ask my doctor for this.  However, then it became what I used to get me through the funeral and then the work days … and eventually EVERYTHING.

I had asked Tara about oils for my migraines just months before she passed.  She helped me research some things and I was about at the order stage when life gets busy.  A few weeks went by and Chris had been in contact with a colleague related to a new business opportunity.  He came in to me and said “Its the oils!”.  He was learning some of the business opportunities and also scheduled a call so I could learn about help for my tension & migraines.  Then, our lives changed when we lost Tara, and, to be honest, I didn’t care much about business opportunities, my headaches, or my tension.  It was easy to just pop another pill.

I was reminded of some of the things Tara had successfully used oils for when I was helping one of the twins one evening.  I knew that the way I was taking migraine pills, Advil, Xanax, and the like, that I was not on the right path to help these kids grow stronger.  At this point, I told Chris to get us started and order a kit.  I would never know unless I tried and I really had nothing to lose at that point.  Also, if I could help Kae like Tara was able to help her kids, I wanted to give it a try.

Three oil blends produced big results for me:  BALANCE, SERENITY, & CITRUS BLISS

I use each both in the morning and at night on my wrists, back of my neck, and/or around my chest/heart.  I also carry Balance with me if I begin to feel anxious.  In a few weeks, I stopped taking Xanax during the day.  Then, I began cutting it out at night.  Now, it is rare I have to take it AT ALL.

Now for the headaches and tension… mixed results…

DEEP BLUE is amazing for tension.  I like the roller bottle and the lotion the best.  The tension in my shoulder blade causes what feels like little shocks all up and down my shoulder.  After a couple weeks using Deep Blue, these are gone.  The need for 2-6 Advil a day is non-existent.

Headaches/Migraines:  If I catch a headache early enough, PAST TENSE is my choice.  It will stop a headache for me 85% of the time.

If the headache surpasses that short window, my sense of smell seems to increase ten-fold.  Then I can sometimes hardly stand to open a bottle of past tense without the urge to throw up.  Sometimes I can use Frankincense on my temples to ease the pain.  I cannot come close to Lavender during these headaches.  For these times, no oil helps me and I will turn to my prescription triptan.  Happily, I am down to about 2-4 a month of these vs. 7-9 before oils vs. 14-16 before hormone treatment.  (I will talk about the hormone treatments in another post).

Now, I turn to oils first.  Why not try natural options before turning to over-the-counter and prescription drugs?  I will never be that person who takes an extreme route in any direction.  In many cases, I can ease symptoms and avoid the side affects from taking medicine.   I thank Tara for taking the time to research options for me.  I thank Kacee for taking the time to listen to me.  I thank Chris for keeping an open mind to try my ‘potions’.

More recipes to come….

NoRegret.life

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Experiences & Recipes

This section will be used to share not only my experiences with you, but I will also use it to post your experiences (with your permission of course). I am hoping that together we can be a sounding board for helping others be more healthy and simply “feel better” as a whole. I know that there is not one solution that is a cure all and that sometimes just getting even a little better provides relief and improves your overall lifestyle. Eating healthy doesn’t have to be flavorless. Food can be considered something to enjoy vs. just “fuel for the body”. Exercise can be more than just a necessity. I hope to post many many experiences and recipes I have used along the way, whether it be essential oil recipes, clean eating recipes etc. No matter the post, let’s find a positive outcome for the experience and keep the focus on the good, great, and awesome things in our lives.